Hello, This story touched my soul. I am a young pastor 37 and wife mother of five. It seems as though a lot of our concerns on pastoral care, and sacrifice parallel. I wish that at some point people like us could speak to one another and counsel each other through the pain. I pray that you have the strength to continue and take each day at a time. Many Blessings, Pastor Gary. Featured Resources. Join the Message Board for Ministry Get 4 months free for a limited time!
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Older 1 … 21 22 Hi Carey, as a Pastor in a small semi urban church in Nigeria the circumstances that stare us in the face are a bit different. Having said that many are pressured by financial considerations to look beyond the ministry. However one keeps going based on the conviction that what we do as Pastors irrespective of the obvious impact has eternal value.
More grace to you sir. And the new ideas are beautiful, drawing more people than this church has seen in a decade. So, now I am pastoring an old sinking ship sit in a building and expect someone else to get you worshipped-up for the week and a new build networked ministries that reach and serve the community.
With great compassion for the sinking ship, what I really feel called to continue is the new build. Right now, our old ship may sink beneath the ability to continue our mortgage payment. The new build needs for the old ship to come along, but I do recognize that some will never be able to make that transition, for various reasons, including age-limited mental plasticity.
I keep praying that God will make a way. In all, I want to quit because I think I may have to go back entirely to the old ship and the institutional way of pastoring. Guess I should have edited that a bit. Early morning n on the move. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. Share via: 2. Every leader needs someone who believes in them when they've stopped believing in themselves.
Click to Tweet. If you're the leader, you're the lid. Leaders who run from their problems always find themselves with bigger problems. Never quit on a bad day. And lately, there have been a lot of bad days. Posted in Leadership and tagged challenge , church leadership , perseverance , purpose. Carey Nieuwhof on April 7, at pm.
David Paroz on April 5, at pm. Carey Nieuwhof on April 6, at am. Anthony Calvary on May 3, at am. Dave on April 5, at pm.
Andrew K Wilson on April 5, at pm. Thanks for all the great content! Dan on April 5, at pm. Trevor Potter on April 5, at am. Carey Nieuwhof on April 5, at pm. Scott Fairchild on April 5, at am. Scott Fairchild on April 12, at am. Karen on April 5, at am. So sorry to hear that! Dean Deguara on April 5, at am. Bette-Jo Foster on April 5, at am. Chris Dowling on April 5, at am.
There are ways to safeguard yourself from these feelings of guilt, pressure and thoughts and feelings of quitting or running away. Children of pastors often report having negative experiences and many do not attend church anywhere today because of those negative experiences!
The minister's spouse is often neglected for the sake of the ministry. If these escalate or continue for a long period of time, further problems within the family may develop, which leads to another stressor - the pastor's family is not suppose to have any marital or family problems.
A pastor deals with so many people, problems and issues. While most church members are considerate, many others are not, never thinking about intruding on the pastor's personal time or the number of calls they receive everyday.
The demands of the ministry often take its toll mentally, spiritually and physically. Worry, stress, and neglect of one's health can lead to stress and burnout as well as other more serious heath problems, such as stroke, heart attack and cancer. Usually there is no one there to regulate, protect and keep track of a pastor from reaching danger limits, except his family. Jesus even needed rest! How could this be a reason for a minister leaving the ministry? After all, ministers seem to have plenty of people surrounding them on a week-to-week basis.
Ministers often report feeling isolated, not having the close fellowship they see laity have or perhaps they once had before they entering into the ministry.
Pastors only get close to their parishioners on a professional basis, working with them daily or weekly, often counseling them on a number of different issues, trying to mend or encourage others on their marriage, career, finances, health and spiritual walk.
A pastor's work is never done. They report working between 55 to 75 hours a week, often burning a candle at both ends. Most of the calls a minister receives is not to check on how their pastor is doing but because of problems either in the church or in their lives. Complaints seem to come in on a daily basis.
Most pastors feel unappreciated. They give so much time to others but who is there for the pastor? Ministers cannot tell their congregation that they feel their jobs are overwhelming at times or they have had thoughts about leaving the ministry.
Most ministers feel they cannot share their feelings with other ministers - too many churches are in competition with one another, this may be the ammunition they need!
Where can a minister go for help and encouragement? Most ministers try to cope with it only to burnout, loosing all motivation and having thoughts that nobody cares! With all the mounting pressures and conflicts, long hours, thankless efforts, stressors affecting their families and lack of support, many pastors feel they are definitely alone and have no place to turn.
Many seek support in other ways, often inappropriate, which cause them to leave the ministry and destroy their lives. Others will seek employment elsewhere. Even the business world seems more supportive than the ministry.
People may ask why is this 3 when it is the easiest to overcome? The reason is very simple - ministers do not have a friend or mentor whom they can trust! Too often ministers keep feelings, thoughts, concerns, problems, sin, discouragement, depression and loneliness all inside. Sometimes pastors feel they can talk to their spouses, while others are afraid to share because they fear their spouses may hold negative thoughts about the laity and therefore causing more marital problems.
A pastor needs a friend!!! One that will be able to support and encourage them in all things throughout their life!
Pastors that are going through difficulties should have a safe place to turn for help. One of the logical places is with their denomination. Denominational leaders are quick to state they are there for the pastors. After all, they are the ones who may have encouraged them to be in the ministry and are the very ones who credentials the minister. So why aren't ministers calling for help? Denominations actually have a dual relationship with their ministers. On one hand, they are the good guys - the ones for credentialing and cheering pastors up when they are together.
On the other hand, they are a disciplinary group, the ones who terminate or places ministers on probation or suspension. Most pastors report never hearing from their denomination unless it is due to a problem with the pastor. Denominations are also concerned for the church. Because of this, many pastors often feel their denomination treat the laity more fairly, especially during church problems.
In denominational meetings, pastors hear that their denomination is there for them but when faced with a real problem, often feel otherwise.
When they meet again, they do not want to wonder if their denominational leader is thinking about past problems. When ministers have feelings and thoughts about leaving the ministry, can they honestly tell their boss? And what if there is a sin issue, can they freely talk to their denominational leaders without fear of being terminated? And if terminated, how will they be able to pay their bills?
What about their reputation? But most of us, if we had to choose, would trade some pain today if it led to genuine, long-term wellness. It is often a refinement or a reshaping of us that occurs in a fire that brings new growth and renewal to our lives. Ultimately pastors know they are not alone. As discouraging as today may seem, pastors have faith that God is present and cares for them personally. All of these predict higher likelihood of a pastor staying in ministry.
Nobody celebrates when a pastor shows up to work on a Monday morning to serve their congregation another week. In the same way, nobody applauds when a custodian, or software programmer, or customer service rep arrives at work.
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